I wanted to provide my victim impact statement for those victims who don’t know where to start when writing their own statement for their attacker’s sentencing. This very statement helped give my attacker a sentencing of 14-16 years.
Victim Impact Statement:
One year ago… my life was changed forever. For a long time, I didn’t know how to describe myself—whether I was a victim or a survivor. However, as I stand before you today, I am just so thankful to have a voice, to be seen, and to be heard. I am here to share not just what happened to me, but how it has reshaped every part of my life. I was a trusting person. Open to meeting new people and seeing the best in them. On that Tuesday—July 23rd, 2024—I was still that same person. I trusted someone to pick me up and to go for a casual dinner. What started as a simple night turned into the worst experience of my life. After repeatedly saying things like “No, I don’t want this” more than ten times—and clearly telling him he was raping me—he still chose to continue. What happened wasn’t a misunderstanding. It wasn’t confusion. It was a deliberate choice, made again and again, to rape me, abuse me, and assault me.
People talk about two main stages in situations like this: the rape itself, and the legal process that follows. But no one prepares you for the whole life in between—the time where you’re left alone with the trauma, trying to function in a world that suddenly feels unsafe and unfamiliar.
After going to the police that night, I was taken to the hospital. I was there from 9:30 p.m. until 4 a.m.—six and a half hours of being examined in front of multiple strangers while I relived the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Every part of my body was swabbed. During the examination, they discovered the tampon I had been wearing. It was lodged so far inside of me that it wasn’t able to be retrieved until four separate pelvic exams had been done. I was given 15 different pills to prevent pregnancy, STDs, and other risks. I had to go to a Quest lab a month later, and then again four months later, to get my blood drawn. The medication I was given made me incredibly sick—It caused nausea, stomach pain, and fatigue. I had to go back to the doctor twice just because of the side effects. I was physically drained and emotionally wrecked. I couldn’t sleep, and I had to start taking sleep aids just to rest. On top of all of this, there was the financial strain of all the medical care I needed—something no one talks about.
I will tell you though, the physical pain wasn’t the worst part. The emotional trauma was even more devastating. My life now splits into two chapters: before and after.
Before the incident, I was the happy friend. I was the one people depended on—the one who brought light to every room. I saw the best in others and I trusted freely. After the rape, I lost that version of myself. I felt worthless, ashamed, and weak. I no longer recognized the person in the mirror. I couldn’t understand how someone could choose to do something so harmful. That thought consumed me, and it changed how I saw the world. I began to question everyone’s intentions. I withdrew from my friends. I avoided the social events I used to enjoy. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere.
The self-blame was constant. Every day, I asked myself, “Why did I let this happen? Could I have done something differently?” I hated my body. I hated how I felt in it. I stopped going to class, and because of this, my grades suffered. I had no motivation. I felt like I was outside of my own body, watching someone else’s life fall apart. The person who hurt me didn’t just take away my sense of safety—he took over my mind. Thoughts of the legal process, of the fact I had to face him again, devoured me every single day. My mental energy was consumed by fear and dread. I started going to therapy for the first time in my life. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I started medication to cope. Even then, I couldn’t sleep—because every time I closed my eyes, I saw him on top of me. The look on his face still haunts me.
What really hurt the most was how it affected the people around me. The pain in my family’s eyes—because he had taken the girl I was before away from them too. My parents saw their youngest daughter go through an event that no person should ever go through. They saw the light dim from my eyes. They saw the bruises. They heard me cry. They sat in court as I faced the person who did this to me. They are still grieving the daughter I was, just as I am. I know that pain will always live with them, just as it lives in me. Before the incident, when my parents asked, “How was your day?” they meant: how was class? How’s your job going? What did you do today? Now, those words carry a different meaning: “How was your day?” means: How are you holding up today? Did you remember your medication? Did the flashbacks come back? The toll it took on them is something I will never forget. Knowing that they carry this with me has broken my heart in a whole new way.
The hardest part of all is accepting that all of this—the pain, the trauma, the sleepless nights, the tears, the fear, the therapy, the medication, the courtroom appearances—happened because of one choice.
He made a decision. He chose to ignore my voice. He chose to ignore my right to say no. His choice in that moment has changed the course of every single day of my life since—and it will continue to affect me forever. He chose to take away the life I had “before,” and I now I am left with this life of “after.”
People often say, “This doesn’t define you.” I believe that, and I also know that what does define me is how I choose to move forward. I didn’t choose what happened to me, but I am fighting for the girl I was before, and for the woman I am becoming. I am learning how to live again. I am working to heal. I am standing here today because my story matters—because his choice will never take away my voice. Thank you.
Path to Justice 